Warring couples want power, not apologies

Washington, July 10 (ANI): A new study suggests that it is not an apology that couples want from each other during a conflict, but a willingness to relinquish power.

According to a new Baylor University study, giving up power comes in many forms, among them are giving a partner more independence, admitting faults, showing respect and being willing to compromise.

"It's common for partners to be sensitive to how to share power and control when making decisions in their relationship," researcher Keith Sanford, Ph.D., an associate professor of psychology and neuroscience in Baylor University's College of Arts and Sciences, said.

Following closely behind the desire for shared control was the wish for the partner to show more of an investment in the relationship through such ways as sharing intimate thoughts or feelings, listening, and sharing chores and activities, Sanford said.

The research results are based on two studies of married or cohabitating people and build upon previous research by Sanford.

Earlier studies of more than 3,500 married people found that there are just two basic types of underlying concerns that couples experience during conflicts - "perceived threat," in which a person thinks that his or her status is threatened by a critical or demanding partner; and "perceived neglect," in which an individual sees a partner as being disloyal or inattentive and showing a lack of investment in the relationship.

The study is published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology. (ANI)


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