Almost everyone has seen at least one marriage falling apart, around them. The changing lifestyle, work pressures and individual personalities are some of the common reasons for the growth of divorce rate in the 21st century. So, what happens when you come across a cute, decent and trustworthy man, who has been through a divorce? You can raise an eyebrow and move on, or you can consider dating him. Well, here are some things you should keep in mind before (and while) dating a divorced guy.
Divorce can leave a man both emotionally and financially exhausted. It takes quite some time for him to get back on the dating horse, and even more time to ride it smoothly. If the guy is recently divorced there are chances that you might be his rebound girl. This forbidden time period between getting a divorce and dating again is rather tricky.
You guy might be unsure about his decisions and actions. So, you might have to make one. Wait for a good six months, if you are looking for a serious relationship with him. If you notice his marriage fever relapsing (constant mood swings, mention of his ex, unwilling and needy behavior) it is probably best to move on.
The ‘ex’ factor
Marriage is one of the deepest bonds that one can share. A paper is not strong enough to completely eliminate all the feelings that develop in a marriage. It takes time. But, if you notice your date constantly bringing up his ex, searching for his ex in you, connecting his ex with random topics, and avoiding eye contact with you- these are some of the signs that he is still holding a torch for his ex.
Most guys know well not to bring up their past relationships on a date. So, if your guy does so, then you have to make a strong decision- stick around or move on. If your relationship lasts there will be plenty of time to visit the past anyway, better keep the initial dates to know each other well.
Take things slow
Divorce can leave a very harsh impression in one’s mind about the opposite sex. Lack of confidence, hesitant approach, unwillingness to trust, being financially cautious- are some byproduct feelings related to a divorce.
So, learn to take things slow. Do not force him to take you on fancy dates or expensive shopping tours. Earn his trust and he will believe in you. It is best to delay sex as it often complicates things. Try out simpler things to get close to each other.
Embrace his kids
It is quite possible that a divorced man might have children as well. So, be careful. This is a package that you are automatically signing in for. As your relationship moves forward and gains momentum, he will eventually introduce you to his kids. Interacting with the kids is a huge step for your relationship.
So, if you do not like children or you are looking for just a casual fling- this is not your destination. Remember, sooner or later things will get serious, and you will have to take more responsibilities than you anticipated.
While dating a divorced man, equations will never be simple and linear, there will be many variables involved. But, if you really love him then you will certainly find a way to understand and trust him, despite his past baggage.