Ten most epic stump-cam conversations in cricket

Author : Tushar Agarwal

Editor’s note: Hi, could add as many concerned videos as well. That’d be better for the story. Do that and send it back. Thanks.

Cricket is referred to as the gentleman’s game. Still, we do have specific situations that occur on the cricket pitch that are not in the best spirit of the game and that catch our interest. It is either something that is innately funny, or somebody attempting to sledge somebody else, or the like. Sometimes it is just gestures that are more communicative than words.

We all remember Aamir Sohail who had signalled Venkatesh Prasad to go and fetch the ball after whacking him for four, only to be clean bold next ball. Sreesanth’s dance to Andre Nel after hitting him for a six which was the result of some inciting words used by Nel the previous delivery is probably one of the funniest incidents of cricket. Apart from that, we have had some really epic on-field conversations brought to our notice by the stump cam technology. Here are the top 10 which I found were most intriguing.

As you will surely guess, there are quite a few Aussies involved, and among encounters we have Ashes as the one most likely to have such a conversation happening. Here we go.

Special mention: This was when Tatenda Taibu of Zimbabwe was batting to save the game against South Africa and Mark Boucher took him on and taunted him for his low average that season.

10. Wicketkeeper Ian Healey had a special thing for Sri Lankan Arjun Ranatunga who was a bit on the heavier side. There are two instances of him lashing out at the batsman. Once was when he wanted a runner during a one-day being played at Sydney, “You don’t get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c**t!”

The other instance was when Shane Warne was trying to lure Ranatunga down the track. Healy had this cheeky suggestion to give, “Put a Mars bar on a good length. That should do it.”

Healy/Ranatunga

9. In a county match in England, Greg Thomas was bowling to Sir Vivian Richards and getting a few to beat the bat. After Richards played and missed another, Thomas said, “Its red, its round. Now f**king hit it!”

Richards hit the next ball out of the ground. Richards: ”You know what it looks like. Now go and get it.”

8. When Steve Waugh was batting in his last test innings ever, India was the opposition and Parthiv Patel was the wicket-keeper, who had a special demand for the veteran. He said, “Come on, just one more of the famous slog-sweeps before you finish”

Steve had this to say, ”Respect me, for when I made my test debut you were still in your nappies.”

7. Javed Miandad called Hughes a fat bus conductor in the 1991 test match played between the sides at Adelaide. A few balls later, Hughes dismissed Miandad.

“Tickets please,” said Hughes, as he ran past the departing batsman.

6. Michael Atherton, on his first Tour to Australia was adjudged not out after he had edged one to the keeper. At the end of the over Ian Healey could not help but show his displeasure, “You’re a f**king cheat”.

Atherton gave a reply that effectively shut Healy’s mouth- “When in Rome dear boy…..”

5. This one is a very popular reply that was given by Sir Ian Botham to Aussie wicketkeeper in an Ashes game. Rodney Marsh welcomes Ian Botham to the crease- “So how’s your wife and my kids?”

To which Ian Botham replies, “The wife’s fine. The kids are retarded!”

4. In a Sheffield Shield game between NSW and SA, Steve Waugh was taking an eternity to take guard, scratching his mark and going through the field placing repeatedly. Jamie Siddons, who was at slip, could not take it any longer. He yells out, “For Christ’s sake, it’s not a ‘f**king test match.”

Waugh replies: “Of course it isn’t, you’re here.”

3. This one came in the fourth match of the test series played between West Indies and Australia in 2003. McGrath, having been hit for 21 in his last two, sought to make Ramnaresh Sarwan lose his concentration, and asked him, “So what does Brian Lara’s di*k taste like?”

Sarwan came up with this quick retort, “I don’t know. Ask your wife.”

McGrath lost his temper on hearing this (his wife was undergoing treatment for cancer at that time) and had this to say, “If you ever f**king mention my wife again, I’ll f**king rip your f**king throat out.”

2. This happened in one of the encounters in the 1989 Ashes. The English batsman Robin Smith wasn’t quite comfortable facing Merv Hughes who was really testing him. After another play and a miss, Merv came up with this taunt, “You can’t f**king bat”.

Smith chose to remain quiet and hit the next ball to the boundary and offered an apt reply, “Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can’t f**king bat and you can’t f**king bowl.”

Hughes and Smith had a certain rivalry on the cricket field, you can see some for yourself here.

1. This truly epic conversation took place when James Ormond was the next man in for England in an Ashes test match of 2001. When he reached the crease, Mark Waugh tried having a word or two to unsettle him, “F**k me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here? There’s no way you’re good enough to play for England.”

Ormond had the perfect reply ready- “Maybe not, but at least I’m the best player in my family.”

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