Should you be picky about your kid’s friends?

Today, ambitious mothers target playmates that are a good influence on their kids. Is it right to intervene in their choice? Find out....

A mother knows what’s best for her kids and it seems the rule extends to choosing friends for them as well. Call them overtly caring, extremely controlling or ruthlessly aggressive, many moms, prefer to have a say in everything that is even remotely related to their kids’ life. From what a child should eat to whom he or she should play with, everything must go through their scrutiny and pass the test. “ Mothers monitoring their kids is inevitable and they will continue doing it as they seek the best for them.

But at the same time, they should try and refrain from extreme control over the child’s life,” explains Sindu Aven, Head – Academic, Design & Content, Zee Learn.

When Pooja Agarwal, currently a finance manager with a private firm saw a much elder and authoritative Maya ( name changed) join her 6- year- old daughter Anushka’s group, she knew it was time for her to intervene.

Maya wasn’t the kind of girl Agarwal wanted her daughter to hang out with. “ Despite her being 12- year- old she never played with girls her age. She used her age to her advantage and started bossing around and commanded other girls with authority. Being half Maya’s age the girls felt pressured to follow her instructions,” shares Agarwal.

Cunning, dominating and imposing, Maya was definitely not the sort of kid Pooja wanted her daughter associating with.

So this mother of two started visiting the kids when they played outdoors to ensure that everyone was being given a fair chance. Agarwal’s clever move put a cap on the power Maya had on the others and soon she made a quiet exit.


Mothers today are more ambitious than ever about their kids. Every decision or choice made by the child should have her approval. “ I have the last say in everything, from their friends to their clothes to what they eat and where they go. Both my girls realise what I say is for their best and our relationship is more like friends. They reach out to me and seek my approval as much as I protect and influence them. Not only do I meet their friends but I also meet the parents,” says actress Sridevi, who was in the capital to launch exhibit Design One. “ Mothers are naturally protective and their role in a kid’s life is instrumental in terms of inculcating values and good behaviour in the early phase of childhood,” says Dr Ashima Shukla, consultant psychologist, Artemis Hospital, Gurgaon.

It’s also about connecting with like- minded parents who also strive to push their children to be high achievers. Certainly, mothers leave no stone unturned, this is why they want the kid to have the best company.

“ I have no hesitation in admitting that I have even tried to convince my daughter’s class teacher to make her sit with the child I approve of in class. I strongly feel that it’s a mother's duty to help kids make correct decisions in the earlier part of their life, so that they get a fair idea of wrong and right,” claims Agarwal.

Baby comes first always
Aishwarya’s pregnancy weight gain sure raised a few eyebrows. The media wrote many unflattering things about her, but she did not allow it to affect her. She hit back ... more 
Baby comes first always
Aishwarya’s pregnancy weight gain sure raised a few eyebrows. The media wrote many unflattering things about her, but she did not allow it to affect her. She hit back strongly stating that her angel, Aradhya was her priority. In an interview with Anupama Chopra, she went on to state that, “Weight gain can happen at any point in time and it is something that you are dealing with anyway and it is ok. It is not the outside that defines who you are.” So do not let any nasty comments affect you. Take care of your baby first and ensure that your bundle of joy is healthy and happy. less 
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Tue 8 Jan, 2013 1:30 PM IST


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