SATIRE: Man sells house to buy ticket for Sachin Tendulkar’s 200th Test match

Author : Nayyar Abdul Rasheed

A lifelong Sachin Tendulkar fan in Kolkata sold his house today to be able to afford tickets for Sachin’s last match in Mumbai.

The 40-year-old Joydeep Chattopadhyay, a father of two, had been waiting impatiently for the official announcement, and was actually taken aback when the venue for his 200th Test was named Wankhede.

“I had full faith in BCCI that the greatest cricketer’s last match would be in India’s greatest stadium – Eden Gardens – but Sachin’s wish was more important for BCCI,” he said in a surprised tone, as if witnessing it for the first time.

“I haven’t seen him hit Warne out of the stadium, but I don’t want to miss the opportunity to see him hitting Sammy for three consecutive fours.

“….is Gayle playing?” he asked after a while.

He had read all the predictions on Social Media over the past week, but was wary of the comments from ‘experts’.

“I believed Ravi Shastri when he said Sachin would play on till next year. But then my dreams went crashing, just like a tracer bullet, and I don’t believe any of them anymore,” he bemoaned.

When suggested that he can watch Sachin’s penultimate match in Eden Gardens in Kolkata itself, he had a bewildered look on his face.

“199th match? Are you freaking serious!? I’ve had enough with anything that ends with double 9s! How can you suggest something so cruel!” he exclaimed.

His 15-year-old elder son was quite excited to see Sachin in person. “I’ve always wanted to see him. He sold his Ferrari, the least we can do for him is sell our house.”

Joydeep has been spending all his time on the internet since then, trying to find which website would sell the match’s tickets.

But how does he plan to get out of poverty after Sachin retires?

“Well, what do you think my ‘state of mind’ is going to be after watching a classic Sachin hundred? I’ve got it all planned out man,” came his reply, as he continued reading ’5 most foolish Sachin fans ever’ on his laptop.

It appears Joydeep was unaware of a latest commercial, where a bank advertised its new scheme titled ‘loan it for Tendulkar’, offering its customers loans for ticket and travelling purposes to Wankhede.

In other major news of the day, BCCI have roped in the developers of the IRCTC website to prepare for an avalanche of fans trying to book tickets online.

“We wanted to hire someone who has experience in selling tickets which are rarely available. Another big plus was their awareness regarding ‘reserved seats’. The actual number of tickets available for the fans would be announced at the next BCCI meeting, after having a discussion with all the stakeholders,” said a BCCI spokesperson.

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