Humor: An open letter to MS Dhoni on Ishant Sharma

Author : Ajith

A nation appeals to MS Dhoni to drop Ishant Sharma

Dear MS Dhoni,

Your instincts seldom let you down. Not to forget, you have a soft corner for the Sharmas. You asked Joginder Sharma to bowl the final over of the 2007 World T20 final and it worked. You trusted Rohit Sharma’s abilities and gave him more chances than his girl friend would ever give him, and it’s starting to pay off. But, does it mean your instincts are right all the time?

You’re smart, intelligent, talented, committed and you’re the right man to lead Team India, there’s no doubt about it. But you’re a little arrogant too. You have your own ways of dealing with things despite the whole world thinks it’s not the right approach. What do you want to prove by doing so? We’ve already agreed to the fact that you’re the best captain.

Let’s talk about Ishant Sharma for instance. He is neither as talented as a Rohit Sharma nor is he smart like an Ashwin or a Ravindra Jadeja. Why is he being given so many chances? Is it just because he’s 6 feet 3 inches in height?

In David Lloyd’s words, if I have to describe Ishant, he’s just pure rubbish. Ashish Nehra and Ashok Dinda can win you matches, but Ishant Sharma won’t. He almost lost us the Champions Trophy match but thanks to the brain outage of the English batsmen, we crossed the line just in time.

Shreyas Talpade from Iqbal, Sushanth Rajput from Kai Po Che, Shahid Kapoor and Rani Mukherjee from Dil Bole Hadippa – each of them can bowl better than Ishant Sharma. No kidding. After working on the character for their movie, they’d at least know that pitching short and bowling length at the same pace all the time would do them no good whatsoever.

In the last three ODIs, Ishant has bowled a total of 24 overs giving away 189 runs at an economy rate of 7.875 with just two wickets to his name. No wonder why the Australian batsmen are ruling the roost.

Thanks to technology, we’ve seen pictures where Ishant’s hair has covered his eyes completely at the time of delivery. Some say, even Ishant can’t see batsmen thrash him around the park and so the long hair that often covers his face.

When Ashok Dinda can wear a head band, why can’t Ishant? You have a personal hair-dresser in Sapna Bhavnani and why don’t you send Ishant to her. She may come up with yet another embarrassing haircut like she did to you, but then, any hair-cut is better for the team than Ishant’s current hairdo.

Ishant isn’t good with the bat like Ashwin, that would make you want to keep him in the team despite his poor bowling form. He’s not half as good as Mohammad Kaif or a Suresh Raina on the field.

The mystery needs to be solved before it takes away the No. 1 ranking of the team.

Why is Ishant in the side? Yes, Ishant is the biggest match winner, but for the opposition. In a country of population of over 1.2 billion, do you think we can’t find a better bowler than Ishant? You can bowl better than him. In fact, Duncan Fletcher can. Harsha Bhogle can too.

Well, of course Mr. Dhoni, you need to act and act before people start doubting your captaincy skills. Every Indian fan wants Ishant to be dropped, except two people. Ishant and yourself.

Before Australia takes our No. 1 ranking, before it’s too late, please set Ishant Sharma free. The bench needs him. Viru and Gauti are missing him too, apparently.

It’s time to call off your love affair with Ishant. Before people on Twitter start a #DropIshant campaign, please act.

Yours instinctively,

An Indian cricket fan


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