When two individuals start living together after marriage, some small tiffs are bound to happen. But, it is the things said in haste to each other that can become a problem later when you calm down. Misunderstandings and arguments are meant to happen in any relation. Saying mean and hurtful things to one another during a fight and then wanting to turn back the clock later on to set things right is obviously not possible. So, why say something that you will regret later. Here are the top six things you should never say to your spouse during a fight.
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“Stop speaking to me, you are such a ‘______’!”
Calling each other nasty things or abusing is not acceptable. You will not realise how big a mistake you have made until the fight is over. Abusing your friends in a funny way is a completely different thing than doing it with your spouse. It also makes the other person feel more vulnerable and less appriciated. Not to forget, it takes the fight to a different level altogether.
“It is always obviously your fault!” or “You are the one who started it!”
Blaming one another unnecessarily without actually taking a minute to think what actually went wrong can increase the fight. Not to mention that it irritates the other person immensely. Even if you think your partner is at fault, don’t say it there and then. Instead, try and explain it after the fight is over and you both are in a calmer state of mind.
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The 'D' Word
“Enough is enough! I want a DIVORCE!”
Well, divorce is a big word. It should never be taken as an easy option out during your arguments and fights. When two people get married, they vow to stick together for better or for worse. Then where does this option of ‘escape’ come in when the ‘worse’ part strikes? This just goes on to show your lack of respect and trust for your spouse.
Bringing in the 'parent opinion'
“My parents warned me about marrying you!”
It is a fact that be it the guy or the girl; most people are not very fond of their mother-in-laws in the traditional Indian set up. Bringing in her opinion in a fight then would obviously cause much havoc! And if her opinion was so useful for you in the first place, why tie the knot at all?
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“Look at XYZ’s husband/wife, he/she is not like you!” or “You are just like your father/mother!”
Making such comparisons can even cost you your marriage some day! No spouse will like their partner talking about a stranger’s spouse in this manner. This can cause trust issues. Also, no one would like to hear you comparing them to your other family members.
"I said, everything is fine!" or "There is no problem at all!"
Okay, this goes especially for the women. Saying that you are not upset or angry, while you really are, can irritate your partner immensely and that is enough to initiate the fight. Don’t deny! Either accept that there is something bothering you and find a solution or forget about it all together. Choosing the midway never helps!
So, follow these golden rules and always come out sooner and smiling after an argument with your spouse.