Yahoo! Cricket


Yahoo! Cricket

Vox Pop: Intimidation x 11, Cricket’s All-Time XI

Kersasp Shekhdar weighs in on the fan-selected ICC Dream XI:

The I.C.C.'s so-called 'All-Time' XI is the biggest load of bollocks I have ever seen as a sports lover.  (You disagree? Okay, then 'Star Wars' and 'Wizard of Oz' are the two all-time greatest films.)  I am not going to dignify I.C.C.'s nonsense with a link to it.  It was nothing more than a case of non-serious Indians displaying their numerical might.  But that is as nothing compared to the monumental organizational folly of the I.C.C. in putting out something titled "Sports lists' All-Time biggest load of bollocks" under their name.

Beneath, I am putting up a real All-Time XI.  Wisden and M.C.C. experts may not necessarily agree with me about my team as-is but I would challenge them to ridicule it as – no doubt – they would privately have derided the I.C.C.'s 'fan selected' purported 'All-Time XI'.  And I'd wager my soul with the Devil that my XI would crush not only any and all other elevens, but rout even a Satan's XI of fiends and demons the Evil One himself could muster.

A truly great team can sometimes intimidate opponents into submission upon sight.  How would the opposing willow-babes feel when they see the Mighty Khan taking the ball – as first change . . . with six wickets already down (all castled, to be specific)?  How would the opposing leather-trundlers feel when they see Sir Garfield walking to the middle – at no. 7 . . . and the scoreboard already reads 800-plus (six centuries, to be specific)?  My team is Intimidation x 11.  No hopping bunnies and lollipop-tossers here, only blazing godzillas.

Without further ado then, the real All-Time XI:–

Cricket's True All-Time XI

1.  Hanif Mohammad  (PK)

2.  Sachin Tendulkar  (IN)

3.  Vivian Richards  (WI)

4.  Donald Bradman  (AU)

5.  Brian Lara (WI)

6.  Adam Gilchrist  (AU)

7.  Garry Sobers  (WI)

8.  Imran Khan  (C)  (PK)

9.  Shane Warne  (AU)

  1. Fred Trueman  (EN)

  2. Michael Holding  (WI)

  1. Jonty Rhodes  (SA)

The Rationale

Sachin for the epic gush of runs,

Viv for the guts and glory,

Lara for the style and grace,

The Don ’cause he's th' one and only;

And Garry for batting ferocity

And aye, the guileful spinning,

Gilly for bludgeoning savagery

Yet what soft-handed keeping;

—Ah, Shane – crafty fox's sly baits,

Oh, Imran – corner'd tiger's rank breath;

Now here's Fred for striking terror—

And Mikey for whispering – 'Death'!

Plus Jonty to pluck ’em with a dive, but most:

Little Hanif to bat, bat and bat – "to bat for . . . my life."

Only those who know a bit about Cricket will grasp a few allusions and recognize a cricketing abstraction, above.  But that's assuming that anyone dares to, or is able to, read the list of godzillas all the way through without suffering palpitations or a panic-attack by the time they get to "11. Michael Holding"

Wait— Who was that? Who muttered, "No, thanks, I'm not going to waste my time!"?  Hmm, I do believe that that was the Archfiend conceding defeat . . .

Latest Posts


    • Team flag for Sri Lanka vs. Team flag for PakistanPAKSL
      5th ODI
      Sun, Jul 26, 2015
      Hambantota, Sri Lanka
      Pakistan in Sri Lanka ODI ...
      SL won by 165 runs
    • Team flag for Netherlands vs. Team flag for ScotlandSCONED
      Match abandoned
      Sun, Jul 26, 2015
      Malahide, Dublin, Ireland
      World Twenty20 Qualifier, ...
    • Team flag for Hong Kong vs. Team flag for IrelandIREHK
      3rd Place Play-off
      Match abandoned
      Sun, Jul 26, 2015
      Malahide, Dublin, Ireland
      World Twenty20 Qualifier, ...
  • No live matches are in progress.
    • Team flag for England vs. Team flag for AustraliaAUSENG
      3rd Test
      Wed, Jul 29, 2015
      Birmingham, England
      The Ashes, 2015...
      Upcoming match
    • Team flag for Bangladesh vs. Team flag for South AfricaSABAN
      2nd Test
      Thu, Jul 30, 2015
      Mirpur, Bangladesh
      South Africa in Bangladesh...
      Upcoming match
    • Team flag for Sri Lanka vs. Team flag for PakistanPAKSL
      1st T20I
      Thu, Jul 30, 2015
      Thu, Jul 30, 2015
      Colombo, Sri Lanka
      Pakistan in Sri Lanka T20 ...



How to subscribe

Roll over each section to subscribe using Add to My Yahoo or RSS Feed feeds.

Yahoo News offers dozens of RSS feeds you can read in My Yahoo or using third-party RSS news reader software. Click here to find out more about RSS and how you can use it with Yahoo News.